“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” - Isaac Newton
One of the greatest regrets of my life was failing to give an impromptu eulogy at Henry Sundeen’s funeral. I wish I had the gumption at the time to tell his friends and family how he was one of my greatest mentors.
Henry was my next-door neighbor, and although greater than two decades have passed, I still vividly remember the day I met him. It was an early spring day in Massachusetts with the ground still slick from the melting snow. Henry was out in his backyard splitting logs with a maul and I meandered my way over and shyly asked if I could help with the chore. Smiling good-naturedly at me (a ten-year-old), he agreed and began teaching me the safety and skill of splitting wood.
Over the next eleven years, I spent countless days helping Henry on his property and I become very familiar with his generosity. We did everything together, and as he liked to put it, “we talked about everything under the sun.” He taught me how to build and maintain a garden, how to fell a tree precisely where you wanted it to fall, how to stack firewood so that it wouldn’t fall, and how to tap maple trees and make syrup. He taught me about forestry and the mechanics of a car. He told me stories of his adventures as a mechanic and truck driver in the Korean War, and about the decades he spent as a machinist at a local steel company. Having volunteered as a Boy Scout master for decades, one of the paramount lessons Henry taught me was to always “be prepared.”
Although the 1970’s edition of the Boy Scout Handbook that Henry gave me is one of the most prized books in my library, his most important gifts weren’t physical objects. Of far more importance were the life experiences he shared with me. He gifted me his time. And he gifted me timeless knowledge and wisdom. That’s what a mentor does.
The Marriam-Webster dictionary defines a mentor as a trusted counselor or guide. A mentor must have a good relationship with their mentee that establishes trust. A mentor must possess wisdom and life experience in order to provide timely and timeless and insightful counsel. And a mentor must be willing to act as a guide, often with words of advice, other times by walking along side.
I have observed in my life and in the lives of others, that mentors are an essential ingredient to living wisely and living well. The book of Proverbs states: “for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in an abundance of counselors is victory.” We’re not all waging wars, but each of us should be motivated to reach the end of our lives having lived well. I hope this article encourages you to seek to be mentored and simultaneously mentor others.
In searching for mentors, begin with those who have more life behind them than yourself. This endows them with insights that are simply impossible for you to possess because you weren’t alive or were too young to be impacted at the time. They’ve lived through different trials and different times and can thus provide an outside, often more balanced, perspective.
Perhaps it’s because I believe we’re in for a couple decades unlike what we’ve experienced thus far, that this quote of Ray Dalio’s keeps coming to mind. I’ve mentioned this quote in two previous articles and I think it’s pertinent to this topic as well. He said:
“What I found in my life is that most of the things that surprise me were things that never happened in my life before”
Older mentors can help prepare us for things that haven’t yet happened in our lives, but most likely will. Because of the cyclicality of human life, certain challenges we face have been experienced time and time again by every generation. You want a mentor who has enough time between their stage in life and your own to have the ability to observe the results of their decisions, and can guide you accordingly.
In addition to helping you make wise decisions, mentors can also save you time and headaches. When struggling with a decision, or muddling through a problem, or braving the unknown of a new stage in life, consider learning from someone who’s already been there and done that. Unlike in school, in real life, it’s advisable to use a cheat sheet. Mentors are a cheat sheet for life. Why not ask someone who’s further along in the test of life and who’s found out some of the answers. To excel in life, like Sir Isaac Newton, strive to stand on the shoulders of the giants who are ahead of you.
If you don’t trust me, and don’t trust Isaac Newton, maybe you’ll follow the lead of Mahatma Gandi. A blog post by universities.com that I read while writing this article, said this about Gandhi:
“There are few people who have had a more profound effect on the world than Mahatma Gandhi…he was an inspiration for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., as well as for Nelson Mandela and so many others.
Gandhi also learned from someone, Dadabhai Naoroji, an Indian leader who helped to start the Indian Independence Movement in 1857. Upon learning of Naoroji’s intentions, Gandhi…wrote Naoroji a letter, which read…you will, therefore oblige me greatly if you will kindly direct and guide me and make necessary suggestions which shall be received as from a father to his child.’”
Even if you are convinced being mentored would be great, you may be wondering how to fit time with a mentor into your already slammed schedule. The first step is to un-slam your schedule and to simplify your life. And don’t waste your life frivolously (Recently, Netflix revealed that Americans spend the equivalent of 11 billion days each year on digital media). After that, schedule time for meaningful pursuits, such as mentoring.
It’s also helpful to find mentors and mentees already in proximity to your everyday life. This could be at your church, or at your work, or at your gym. And don’t wait for someone to ask you. Take the initiative, ask to be mentored, and ask to mentor.
And don’t forget that some of the greatest mentors are long since dead. Many of these greats have left us volumes of wisdom between the covers of books. There are few better ways to educate yourself than by learning from the lives of historical figures. Consider what the philosopher Rene Descartes said five hundred years ago:
“The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.”
A common trait among the people I have learned the most from is that they are voracious readers. For those with little time to devote to reading, you aren’t off the hook. It’s never been easier to absorb wisdom from current and past giants than it is today with audio books. Listen while working out, or are cleaning dishes, or are on the commute to work. Take advantage of the abundant opportunities available today, start reading, and get mentored.
Henry Sundeen was the first of a half dozen or so influential mentors in my life. I’m thankful for everything he taught me, not the least of which was the extreme value of mentoring. The fact of the matter is, no one is too old or too young to be mentored. And the older you get the more you should pour into the lives of those younger than yourself. Today is the day to find a mentor or mentee, or to pick up a new book. Do yourself a favor and seek out mentors, both dead and alive.
Now get out there and courageously live an unsafe, but good life.
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